I’m stoked to announce a pretty important pivot I’m going to make at The Psych Spot. It’s something that I’m both terrified of and crazy excited about. So here it is.

From this point on, I will be focused on helping Men and boys, 13 and up. I have done awesome and really excellent work with my female clients and I will continue to see women and couples, but I want those men looking for therapy to have a clear option at The Psych Spot. Why the change? Because as a man, I’ve experienced many challenges in my relationships, my career, and my own mental health that would have been awesome to have some help with.

I Got A Guy

One of my new favorite shows is The Black List. The main character Raymond "Red" Reddington has got to be one of my all-time favorite TV characters. He’s devious, ultimately powerful, crazy resourceful, and has a “guy” for everything. Even Mr. Kaplan (little spoiler - who is actually a woman) is his personal cleaner - meaning she cleans up after he commits a crime, which is a frequent occurrence. Anyway I digress. Anytime he needs something done, be it protection, money for his next scam, or inside information, he’s got somebody. One of my favorite mentors always had “a guy for that.” There was a time when every guy needed to know a butcher, tailor, mechanic, barber, lawyer, etc. It’s a throwback I know, but I think it’s worth reestablishing.

Modern Man

Today’s male is extremely isolated. In our fast paced world, men have largely lost those companions; mentors and friends that help us overcome adversity. Plus, modern masculinity isn’t doing us any favors. Many guys don’t even have close friends and don’t know how to go about making them.

Growing Up Manly

Growing up in a family with five boys was, in a word, AWESOME. It was rambunctious, irreverent, and things or people were routinely being broken or bloodied. We were into guns, archery, mountain biking, swimming and water polo, snow caving and snowboarding, computers and video games, and building anything and everything and eventually chopping up cars. In my high school years we found cameras. We spent hours making videos of our current adventures. We reveled in our adolescent virgin manliness and called it testosterone poisoning.

To us testosterone poisoning meant speed, a measure of recklessness, an air of nonchalance and all the pubescent bravado and pseudo-confidence that we could muster. It was swagger. It was machismo. It was everything that we aspired to be. Whether it was the ability to start a roaring bonfire during a campout, throw rocks the farthest, climb the highest, or go mountain biking through ice cold rivers on Thanksgiving. We adored extreme sports heroes! I was endlessly stoked to see the first extreme athletes like Tony Hawk and Laird Hamilton, who were later followed by numerous Redbull and GoPro stars.There were a ton of other archetypes from books and movies. I wanted to be skilled and fearless like Jason Bourne (Matt Damon), and as brilliant as Detective Robert Goren (Vincent Philip D'Onofrio), or Dr. Cal Lightman (Tim Roth).

Gone Hollywood

Here’s the problem though. While I love TV and movies, if you haven’t guessed already, Hollywood and society at large aren’t doing us any favors in the role model department. They’ve given us the Caveman, Marlboro Man, and the Nice Guy (aka the wimp). What the crap?! Can you imagine a more distinct dichotomy of extremes?! And now what? Where does that leave us?

This is Real Life

In real life! With real problems! Guys need someone to talk with, to work through their challenges with. To validate their rational fears and challenge those that are unfounded. I know I could not have gotten to where I am today without the people who have pushed me and made me uncomfortable. Men need to be challenged! It’s the best way to manage and refine our caveman fight or flight minds.

In my heart of hearts, I want to help every man become the epic hero he dreamed of in childhood. When I was a kid, I looked up to men who seemingly ruled their worlds and thrived in a sea of challenge, adversity, and competition. My heroes were my father, uncles and grandfathers. Some were professionals, but others were simply men who could make things and work hard. I admired their persistence and the creative skill they showed each time they overcame their own unique challenges. Watching these men around me made me want to succeed so much it hurt sometimes.

Whatever your story is, my point in sharing all my own crap is because we all have similar stories. Everyone has stuff. It might be old stuff, or it might be new stuff. Regardless, we all have an ideal self that may often seem out of reach. The great thing is, now I understand how to help others get there. I want to help men take it to the next level in life, business, and relationships.

Featured